Essentials: The Cocktail Party Anecdote Cocktail parties are the pinnacle of entertainment.  With booze and good banter making up the majority of the Bootstrap Gentleman’s diet, he is never more sufficed than when regaling eager listeners with a gimlet-induced tale of saving one of Hemingway’s cats from a burning house in Key West. This, my humble students, is what I like to call the gentleman’s cocktail party anecdote. It is the narrative that you use to endear yourself to the crowd, and in essence become the most coveted conversationalist at any event. I like to tell a story about casually calling the screenwriter of On the Waterfront to discuss the origin of the famous line “I could have been a contender.”  Who knew Brando wasn’t a great boxer?  Apparently I did, and that makes me infinitely more interesting than the guy discussing the Asian commodities markets.  Your signature epic should be like Kim Kardashian: nicely rounded but devoid of substance. Never, ever discuss politics, religion or scotch preference.  The last thing you want to do is appear uninformed or dimwitted.  Worse yet, you could get your drunken ass beat to an ascot-wearing pulp.  If you are like me, chances are you already socialize with people that are elitist, conceited and shallow, so these traits are usually overlooked or even welcomed. Be sure to save your inappropriate tales for more intimate, postprandial conversation once the rest of the guests are a bit soused.  Let’s be honest, you already like to talk about yourself, so make your linguacious tendencies work to your advantage.  Like the cocktail shaker you keep at your bedside, the success of your verbal intercourse will be essential for nighttime mixing. Conversationally, Bootstrap

Essentials: The Cocktail Party Anecdote

Cocktail parties are the pinnacle of entertainment.  With booze and good banter making up the majority of the Bootstrap Gentleman’s diet, he is never more sufficed than when regaling eager listeners with a gimlet-induced tale of saving one of Hemingway’s cats from a burning house in Key West.

This, my humble students, is what I like to call the gentleman’s cocktail party anecdote. It is the narrative that you use to endear yourself to the crowd, and in essence become the most coveted conversationalist at any event.

I like to tell a story about casually calling the screenwriter of On the Waterfront to discuss the origin of the famous line “I could have been a contender.”  Who knew Brando wasn’t a great boxer?  Apparently I did, and that makes me infinitely more interesting than the guy discussing the Asian commodities markets. 

Your signature epic should be like Kim Kardashian: nicely rounded but devoid of substance. Never, ever discuss politics, religion or scotch preference.  The last thing you want to do is appear uninformed or dimwitted.  Worse yet, you could get your drunken ass beat to an ascot-wearing pulp.  If you are like me, chances are you already socialize with people that are elitist, conceited and shallow, so these traits are usually overlooked or even welcomed.

Be sure to save your inappropriate tales for more intimate, postprandial conversation once the rest of the guests are a bit soused.  Let’s be honest, you already like to talk about yourself, so make your linguacious tendencies work to your advantage.  Like the cocktail shaker you keep at your bedside, the success of your verbal intercourse will be essential for nighttime mixing.

Conversationally,

Bootstrap



Good Breeding: A Gentleman is Timely You often hear people say to invest in land because they aren’t making any more of it, but you know what else they aren’t making any more of? My time. Just like a fertile field a gentleman cultivates his time with productive and cultural activities. With so many French novels to read, fine wines to drink and MTV reality shows to catch up on, it’s no wonder why waiting for the perpetually late can be irksome. There are some circumstances where being somewhat unpunctual is acceptable. Being fashionably late to a cocktail party never goes out of style, and delaying your minions while you are “executive late” to a meeting is also de rigueur.  In such examples the gentleman is actually on time by social standards, if not by the clock. Yet, being late for a date, a scheduled appointment or your parole hearing is unacceptable.  If you want others to treat your time as important the courtesy should be mutual. The only time a gentleman should be described as truly late is when he’s dead. Tick Tock Bootstrap

Good Breeding: A Gentleman is Timely

You often hear people say to invest in land because they aren’t making any more of it, but you know what else they aren’t making any more of? My time. Just like a fertile field a gentleman cultivates his time with productive and cultural activities.

With so many French novels to read, fine wines to drink and MTV reality shows to catch up on, it’s no wonder why waiting for the perpetually late can be irksome.

There are some circumstances where being somewhat unpunctual is acceptable. Being fashionably late to a cocktail party never goes out of style, and delaying your minions while you are “executive late” to a meeting is also de rigueur.  In such examples the gentleman is actually on time by social standards, if not by the clock.

Yet, being late for a date, a scheduled appointment or your parole hearing is unacceptable.  If you want others to treat your time as important the courtesy should be mutual.

The only time a gentleman should be described as truly late is when he’s dead.

Tick Tock

Bootstrap


A gentleman is “entertaining” not “intoxicated”.


Good Breeding: A Steady Hand A man’s handwriting says a lot about him, literally. Experts contend that how you put pen to paper can express fear, confidence, frustration, sociopathy etc. I have never put much store by graphology; mainly because I don’t want to know the local dry cleaner has the potential to murder me in cold blood when looking at my claim check. What I am talking about is the look of a man’s handwriting. We have all seen a note that looks more like an EKG than the alphabet.  Ask yourself, “do I want my sentimental jots to conjure up sweet nothings or indicate hypertension?”   If a man’s hand is sloppy the same can usually be said of the person. When letter writing was the preeminent method of communication, men took pride in their script. Writing was a skill of the privileged few, and it was taken seriously. Unfortunately it is rare to see refined penmanship in our typewritten world.     Perhaps this is an indication of a more casual society that doesn’t require love letters or frequent notes of regret to the hostesses of black tie balls.  Yet, you never know when you may need to make an important pronouncement in written form, so it’s time to start minding your p’s and q’s. Remember though, now as in eons gone by, a written letter is still a very personal gesture, so unless you know the recipient well, keep your hand to yourself. Bootstrap p.s.- I pen all of my posts into a leather bound ledger for posterity.

Good Breeding: A Steady Hand

A man’s handwriting says a lot about him, literally. Experts contend that how you put pen to paper can express fear, confidence, frustration, sociopathy etc. I have never put much store by graphology; mainly because I don’t want to know the local dry cleaner has the potential to murder me in cold blood when looking at my claim check.

What I am talking about is the look of a man’s handwriting. We have all seen a note that looks more like an EKG than the alphabet.  Ask yourself, “do I want my sentimental jots to conjure up sweet nothings or indicate hypertension?”  

If a man’s hand is sloppy the same can usually be said of the person. When letter writing was the preeminent method of communication, men took pride in their script. Writing was a skill of the privileged few, and it was taken seriously. Unfortunately it is rare to see refined penmanship in our typewritten world.    

Perhaps this is an indication of a more casual society that doesn’t require love letters or frequent notes of regret to the hostesses of black tie balls.  Yet, you never know when you may need to make an important pronouncement in written form, so it’s time to start minding your p’s and q’s.

Remember though, now as in eons gone by, a written letter is still a very personal gesture, so unless you know the recipient well, keep your hand to yourself.

Bootstrap

p.s.- I pen all of my posts into a leather bound ledger for posterity.


A trophy wife is like a Chia Pet you grow with gin.


Travel: Friends with Benefits It’s Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing- a country weekend.  Three days isn’t enough to make it to your yacht moored in the south of France, but it is time enough to tolerate those friends in your social circle that have access to more than an acre of land and a fully stocked bar.  These are the low dose people you can only take with fresh air and a significant supply of gin.  The Bootstrap Gentleman himself doesn’t have access to beach houses in Kiawah, but if he plays his cards right that doesn’t matter.   Sometimes one just needs to break free of the shackles of urban elitism, dust off the white bucks and take a midnight train to Georgia…er, to the tony suburbs of Manhattan. It is best to have a plan, or at least an awareness, of how things are going to go down on the farm.  First day: you really will tell yourself that you like this host.  First night: get drunk and talk about how much you hate city living. Second Day: spend time in the sun, feign a hangover and keep earbuds in.  Second night: get drunk and flirt with the house staff. Third day: embrace your host and hostess, thank them for a lovely weekend and get the hell out with what’s left of your dignity… and an aweseome tan. Green Acres is the place for us (on holiday weekends only).    Bootstrap and Garter Belt Gal (Coming to you live from the middle of nowhere)

Travel: Friends with Benefits

It’s Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing- a country weekend.  Three days isn’t enough to make it to your yacht moored in the south of France, but it is time enough to tolerate those friends in your social circle that have access to more than an acre of land and a fully stocked bar.  These are the low dose people you can only take with fresh air and a significant supply of gin. 

The Bootstrap Gentleman himself doesn’t have access to beach houses in Kiawah, but if he plays his cards right that doesn’t matter.   Sometimes one just needs to break free of the shackles of urban elitism, dust off the white bucks and take a midnight train to Georgia…er, to the tony suburbs of Manhattan.

It is best to have a plan, or at least an awareness, of how things are going to go down on the farm.  First day: you really will tell yourself that you like this host.  First night: get drunk and talk about how much you hate city living. Second Day: spend time in the sun, feign a hangover and keep earbuds in.  Second night: get drunk and flirt with the house staff. Third day: embrace your host and hostess, thank them for a lovely weekend and get the hell out with what’s left of your dignity… and an aweseome tan.

Green Acres is the place for us (on holiday weekends only).   

Bootstrap and Garter Belt Gal (Coming to you live from the middle of nowhere)


Good Breeding: A Gentleman Doesn’t Steal (Ideas) The title says it all.  A gentleman doesn’t steal, not even those tempting bathrobes at the Four Seasons.  The internet is rife with theft, and I am not just talking about people who get their kidneys stolen by using dating sites.  I am talking about idea theft. Unfortunately I recently discovered that one of the ideas from this site was imitated and re-used (not nearly as well if I do say so myself) on The Art of Manliness.  The picture is not of my own origin, and the words are not plagiarized, so nothing illegal has been done, but the results speak for themselves. Now we at Bootstrap have been avid fans of The Art of Manliness, so  the email below was sent to their attention.  I suggest you all take a look at the links in question.   “Hello, I read your blog often, and enjoy the content. I have been writing a blog called The Bootstrap Gentleman (www.thebootstrapgentleman.com) for about a year, and it seems as though we are touching on many of the same topics.  The blog is mostly a humorous take on being a gentleman in modern society with the occasional wardrobe tip or cocktail recipe thrown in for good measure.I recently ran across this article that you posted last month:http://artofmanliness.com/2011/01/25/stylish-travel-clothing/It reminded me of a few linked posts on my site that you can find here:http://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/436015544/travel-air-travel-like-a-gentleman-part-ihttp://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/265759336/packing-for-a-weekend-furloughBased on what I have read on your site I have a number of posts that I think you would enjoy.  I have the Art of Manliness linked on my site so my readers can find you, and it would be fantastic if you could re-post one of my articles in any of your various virtual venues or give the Bootstrap Gentleman a nod.” I had hoped this would be subtle yet firm, but unfortunately a response has not been received.  Apparently “reviving the lost art of manliness” includes being a coward. I would encourage my loyal readers to reblog this post or share it on Facebook.  Let’s give them a run for their money. Honestly, Bootstrap

Good Breeding: A Gentleman Doesn’t Steal (Ideas)

The title says it all.  A gentleman doesn’t steal, not even those tempting bathrobes at the Four Seasons.  The internet is rife with theft, and I am not just talking about people who get their kidneys stolen by using dating sites.  I am talking about idea theft.

Unfortunately I recently discovered that one of the ideas from this site was imitated and re-used (not nearly as well if I do say so myself) on The Art of Manliness.  The picture is not of my own origin, and the words are not plagiarized, so nothing illegal has been done, but the results speak for themselves.

Now we at Bootstrap have been avid fans of The Art of Manliness, so  the email below was sent to their attention.  I suggest you all take a look at the links in question.  

“Hello,

I read your blog often, and enjoy the content. I have been writing a blog called The Bootstrap Gentleman (www.thebootstrapgentleman.com) for about a year, and it seems as though we are touching on many of the same topics.  The blog is mostly a humorous take on being a gentleman in modern society with the occasional wardrobe tip or cocktail recipe thrown in for good measure.

I recently ran across this article that you posted last month:
http://artofmanliness.com/2011/01/25/stylish-travel-clothing/

It reminded me of a few linked posts on my site that you can find here:

http://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/436015544/travel-air-travel-li
ke-a-gentleman-part-i

http://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/265759336/packing-for-a-weeken
d-furlough

Based on what I have read on your site I have a number of posts that I think you would enjoy.  I have the Art of Manliness linked on my site so my readers can find you, and it would be fantastic if you could re-post one of my articles in any of your various virtual venues or give the Bootstrap Gentleman a nod.”

I had hoped this would be subtle yet firm, but unfortunately a response has not been received.  Apparently “reviving the lost art of manliness” includes being a coward.

I would encourage my loyal readers to reblog this post or share it on Facebook.  Let’s give them a run for their money.

Honestly,

Bootstrap


Disturbing Trend: NASCARTrack season used to conjure up images of men in morning coats and women in ostentatious hats. Now as NASCAR is hailed as the most popular “sport” in America with over 75 million reported fans, the term has a very different meaning.When you think about it, why wouldn’t NASCAR be America’s pastime? You never have to get off your couch, leaving your busy schedule of getting fat uninterrupted, and there are no rules to master. To be an avid fan all one needs to be able to do is watch a car circle the same track over and over again. Inactivity of mind and body. Pure genius. NASCAR is just another example of how American society is moving further away from top hats and juleps down the dangerous road toward mullets and sweatpants. Seeing the throngs of enthusiasts gathered across the country to watch today’s Daytona 500 makes one wonder if those of us with full sets of teeth and library cards are going to have to retreat into a Galt’s Gulch-like society just to preserve culture for future generations. All I know is that I am ready to flee at a moment’s notice with a packed bag, flashlight and a bottle of gin. I suggest you do the same. Bootstrap

Disturbing Trend: NASCAR

Track season used to conjure up images of men in morning coats and women in ostentatious hats. Now as NASCAR is hailed as the most popular “sport” in America with over 75 million reported fans, the term has a very different meaning.

When you think about it, why wouldn’t NASCAR be America’s pastime? You never have to get off your couch, leaving your busy schedule of getting fat uninterrupted, and there are no rules to master. To be an avid fan all one needs to be able to do is watch a car circle the same track over and over again. Inactivity of mind and body. Pure genius.

NASCAR is just another example of how American society is moving further away from top hats and juleps down the dangerous road toward mullets and sweatpants. Seeing the throngs of enthusiasts gathered across the country to watch today’s Daytona 500 makes one wonder if those of us with full sets of teeth and library cards are going to have to retreat into a Galt’s Gulch-like society just to preserve culture for future generations.

All I know is that I am ready to flee at a moment’s notice with a packed bag, flashlight and a bottle of gin. I suggest you do the same.

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: Loose Lips Sink Ships Working in an office has its benefits.  You are surrounded by people who are, for the most part, paid to not look like slobs, there is an endless supply of free stationary and bar-topped credenzas are the ultimate symbol of success.  Yet, there are dangers in this polished paradise. Despite those unassuming smiles, work is guerilla warfare, and those tasseled loafers have steel toes.  The general working populace is not happy.  They complain.  They plot.  They form factions and engage in social maneuvering of military proportion.  And what is the ammunition of this rogue installment? Gossip. That’s right, licentious tales of mailroom trysts and the occasional breakfast martini can ruin careers faster than a polyester suit.  Yet, it is not just the subjects of these stories that are at risk, it is those repeating them.  You may feel authoritative giving a play by play young Arthur and Mildred’s happy hour antics, but do you really want stories about your Cambridge drinking society days making the rounds?  I think not. If you have nothing nice to say I certainly want you sitting next to me at the next board luncheon, but there is no way I am turning over the keys to the executive washroom. Remember, knowledge is power, but unless your blue blazer is bulletproof I suggest you use it for good, not gossip. Confidentially, Bootstrap

Good Breeding: Loose Lips Sink Ships

Working in an office has its benefits.  You are surrounded by people who are, for the most part, paid to not look like slobs, there is an endless supply of free stationary and bar-topped credenzas are the ultimate symbol of success.  Yet, there are dangers in this polished paradise.

Despite those unassuming smiles, work is guerilla warfare, and those tasseled loafers have steel toes.  The general working populace is not happy.  They complain.  They plot.  They form factions and engage in social maneuvering of military proportion.  And what is the ammunition of this rogue installment? Gossip.

That’s right, licentious tales of mailroom trysts and the occasional breakfast martini can ruin careers faster than a polyester suit.  Yet, it is not just the subjects of these stories that are at risk, it is those repeating them.  You may feel authoritative giving a play by play young Arthur and Mildred’s happy hour antics, but do you really want stories about your Cambridge drinking society days making the rounds?  I think not.

If you have nothing nice to say I certainly want you sitting next to me at the next board luncheon, but there is no way I am turning over the keys to the executive washroom. Remember, knowledge is power, but unless your blue blazer is bulletproof I suggest you use it for good, not gossip.

Confidentially,

Bootstrap


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Themed by: Hunson