Travel: Friends with Benefits It’s Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing- a country weekend.  Three days isn’t enough to make it to your yacht moored in the south of France, but it is time enough to tolerate those friends in your social circle that have access to more than an acre of land and a fully stocked bar.  These are the low dose people you can only take with fresh air and a significant supply of gin.  The Bootstrap Gentleman himself doesn’t have access to beach houses in Kiawah, but if he plays his cards right that doesn’t matter.   Sometimes one just needs to break free of the shackles of urban elitism, dust off the white bucks and take a midnight train to Georgia…er, to the tony suburbs of Manhattan. It is best to have a plan, or at least an awareness, of how things are going to go down on the farm.  First day: you really will tell yourself that you like this host.  First night: get drunk and talk about how much you hate city living. Second Day: spend time in the sun, feign a hangover and keep earbuds in.  Second night: get drunk and flirt with the house staff. Third day: embrace your host and hostess, thank them for a lovely weekend and get the hell out with what’s left of your dignity… and an aweseome tan. Green Acres is the place for us (on holiday weekends only).    Bootstrap and Garter Belt Gal (Coming to you live from the middle of nowhere)

Travel: Friends with Benefits

It’s Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing- a country weekend.  Three days isn’t enough to make it to your yacht moored in the south of France, but it is time enough to tolerate those friends in your social circle that have access to more than an acre of land and a fully stocked bar.  These are the low dose people you can only take with fresh air and a significant supply of gin. 

The Bootstrap Gentleman himself doesn’t have access to beach houses in Kiawah, but if he plays his cards right that doesn’t matter.   Sometimes one just needs to break free of the shackles of urban elitism, dust off the white bucks and take a midnight train to Georgia…er, to the tony suburbs of Manhattan.

It is best to have a plan, or at least an awareness, of how things are going to go down on the farm.  First day: you really will tell yourself that you like this host.  First night: get drunk and talk about how much you hate city living. Second Day: spend time in the sun, feign a hangover and keep earbuds in.  Second night: get drunk and flirt with the house staff. Third day: embrace your host and hostess, thank them for a lovely weekend and get the hell out with what’s left of your dignity… and an aweseome tan.

Green Acres is the place for us (on holiday weekends only).   

Bootstrap and Garter Belt Gal (Coming to you live from the middle of nowhere)


Garter Belt Gal: Don’t Air Your Clean Laundry in Public Hello Lovers.  Today is Valentine’s Day.  A day for saying sweet nothings, like “here’s looking at you kid.”  Take the opportunity to tell the people you love just how much you do.  Maybe skip the life-sized teddy bear though.  In my opinion, this holiday could use a lot more class and a little less cheese. Another thing that we could all use less of is people smooching up and down the streets of Soho.  On this day, couples everywhere seize the opportunity to announce to the world that yes, they are in love, hear birds chirping and can’t possibly walk without the support of the other’s hand placed snugly in theirs.  As Oscar Wilde so fittingly put it, “it is simply washing one’s clean linen in public.”   Why is it that Dick and Jane decide, on this one day out of the year, that they should molest each other on the train?  Are they no longer Dick and Jane?  The answer is no.   Nothing has changed save for the flipping of one of the pages of your FiloFax.  Dick has not magically transformed into Cary Grant, nor has Jane shape-shifted into Deborah Kerr.     Nobody else is wearing those rose colored glasses, so I suggest all of you smitten and wonderfully in love people respect others around you and save the roaming hands and lapping tongues for the sanctuary of your own home.  Pull those floral drapes shut and go wild - just don’t use today as an excuse to air your clean laundry in public.  Note: Bootstrap may disagree, but if you are having an ill-advised, sordid affair or plan on having a glorious and dramatic argument, it is only polite to do so in public where others can watch.  I’ll bring the popcorn.    Happy washing,  GBG

Garter Belt Gal: Don’t Air Your Clean Laundry in Public

Hello Lovers.  Today is Valentine’s Day.  A day for saying sweet nothings, like “here’s looking at you kid.”  Take the opportunity to tell the people you love just how much you do.  Maybe skip the life-sized teddy bear though.  In my opinion, this holiday could use a lot more class and a little less cheese.

Another thing that we could all use less of is people smooching up and down the streets of Soho.  On this day, couples everywhere seize the opportunity to announce to the world that yes, they are in love, hear birds chirping and can’t possibly walk without the support of the other’s hand placed snugly in theirs.  As Oscar Wilde so fittingly put it, “it is simply washing one’s clean linen in public.”  

Why is it that Dick and Jane decide, on this one day out of the year, that they should molest each other on the train?  Are they no longer Dick and Jane?  The answer is no.   Nothing has changed save for the flipping of one of the pages of your FiloFax.  Dick has not magically transformed into Cary Grant, nor has Jane shape-shifted into Deborah Kerr.    

Nobody else is wearing those rose colored glasses, so I suggest all of you smitten and wonderfully in love people respect others around you and save the roaming hands and lapping tongues for the sanctuary of your own home.  Pull those floral drapes shut and go wild - just don’t use today as an excuse to air your clean laundry in public. 

Note: Bootstrap may disagree, but if you are having an ill-advised, sordid affair or plan on having a glorious and dramatic argument, it is only polite to do so in public where others can watch.  I’ll bring the popcorn.   

Happy washing, 

GBG


Garter Belt Gal: Ogling is one thing, Googling is another A subtle once over by a man is not an offensive act; in fact, it’s usually flattering if done properly (sans tongue-wagging and any sort of hand gestures). It wasn’t long ago that a woman could expect a few turned heads as she sashayed down Fifth Avenue, but nowadays a pair of searching eyes isn’t the only thing to expect.  The internet has caused quite a change in the courting world.  On one particular occasion, I recall revealing something about myself to a suitor and was met with an unsurprised and knowing gaze.  He Googled me.  I knew it at that moment, and a few dates later, the gentleman even admitted it.  What is the proper protocol in such a situation?  Garter Belt Gal suggests that if you must Google, Facebook or conduct some other sort of search that would make a CIA operative proud, fine.  But for the love of social decorum, feign ignorance.  A new acquaintance reveals her political affiliation? Her favorite music group? Her social networks? Her favorite quote?  Look surprised and interested.  If you’d like to know a person’s shoe size and history of gum disease prior to any personal interaction then you should go home and set up your Match.com account. Right now. Surreptitiously searching for a potential soul mate’s secrets is what it is, but don’t allow the web to permeate personal exchanges, and definitely do not reveal knowledge of facts that the other person hasn’t personally relayed to you.  A gentleman has always been able to make a lady swoon by looking deeply into her eyes, but I have yet to hear of a lady swooning because of a man looking deeply into her credit score.   A gentleman should take advantage of this rare opportunity to fake it.  Garter Belt Gal

Garter Belt Gal: Ogling is one thing, Googling is another

A subtle once over by a man is not an offensive act; in fact, it’s usually flattering if done properly (sans tongue-wagging and any sort of hand gestures).

It wasn’t long ago that a woman could expect a few turned heads as she sashayed down Fifth Avenue, but nowadays a pair of searching eyes isn’t the only thing to expect. 

The internet has caused quite a change in the courting world.  On one particular occasion, I recall revealing something about myself to a suitor and was met with an unsurprised and knowing gaze.  He Googled me.  I knew it at that moment, and a few dates later, the gentleman even admitted it. 

What is the proper protocol in such a situation?  Garter Belt Gal suggests that if you must Google, Facebook or conduct some other sort of search that would make a CIA operative proud, fine.  But for the love of social decorum, feign ignorance.  A new acquaintance reveals her political affiliation? Her favorite music group? Her social networks? Her favorite quote?  Look surprised and interested.  If you’d like to know a person’s shoe size and history of gum disease prior to any personal interaction then you should go home and set up your Match.com account. Right now.

Surreptitiously searching for a potential soul mate’s secrets is what it is, but don’t allow the web to permeate personal exchanges, and definitely do not reveal knowledge of facts that the other person hasn’t personally relayed to you.  A gentleman has always been able to make a lady swoon by looking deeply into her eyes, but I have yet to hear of a lady swooning because of a man looking deeply into her credit score.  

A gentleman should take advantage of this rare opportunity to fake it. 

Garter Belt Gal


Garter Belt Gal: Party Trained A few weeks ago I received an embossed invitation to an intimate soiree thrown by one of my dear friends.  As I pried off the wax seal, I wondered what intriguing people might attend. The evening of the party arrived, and while there were many delightful guests, there were also three attendees who distinguished themselves through acts of egregious behavior. These three, all very different in the nature of their offenses, yet all wildly inappropriate at the same time can be summed up as follows: The Tough Guy – I overheard this man shouting that he didn’t like a certain mustachioed party-goer and that he could “take him”.  This statement made me do a double-take and make sure that the speaker was the same 90-lb American Apparel-wearing chap I had seen earlier.  It was. Need I go further? The Loud Mouth – bragging about how smart you are?  You are no fun and don’t contribute anything to this party, or any party for that matter.  Put your pocket thesaurus away, take off the superfluous horn-rimmed glasses, and go home.      The One Who is Rude to his Girlfriend – I’m not even going to waste my time pondering how you secured the affections of anyone, let alone someone who is attractive and seems like she would make a delightful bridge partner.  What I will wonder about is how she hasn’t slapped you yet. If you insult your girlfriend in private, you are not a gentleman- if you do it in public, expect to find your side view mirror askew when you leave.  GBG is not condoning property destruction; this is just a heads up of sorts.   Why would people act like this? I don’t know.  One too many single malts is no excuse for acting so uncouth.   Ladies I implore you, do your fellow revelers a favor, and if the descriptions above are applicable to your date take action.   No one likes to clean up the mess that a guest who is not party trained can leave behind… Garter Belt Gal (Photo courtesy of the LIFE Photo Archive, linked above)

Garter Belt Gal: Party Trained

A few weeks ago I received an embossed invitation to an intimate soiree thrown by one of my dear friends.  As I pried off the wax seal, I wondered what intriguing people might attend. The evening of the party arrived, and while there were many delightful guests, there were also three attendees who distinguished themselves through acts of egregious behavior. These three, all very different in the nature of their offenses, yet all wildly inappropriate at the same time can be summed up as follows:

The Tough Guy – I overheard this man shouting that he didn’t like a certain mustachioed party-goer and that he could “take him”.  This statement made me do a double-take and make sure that the speaker was the same 90-lb American Apparel-wearing chap I had seen earlier.  It was. Need I go further?

The Loud Mouth – bragging about how smart you are?  You are no fun and don’t contribute anything to this party, or any party for that matter.  Put your pocket thesaurus away, take off the superfluous horn-rimmed glasses, and go home.     

The One Who is Rude to his Girlfriend – I’m not even going to waste my time pondering how you secured the affections of anyone, let alone someone who is attractive and seems like she would make a delightful bridge partner.  What I will wonder about is how she hasn’t slapped you yet. If you insult your girlfriend in private, you are not a gentleman- if you do it in public, expect to find your side view mirror askew when you leave.  GBG is not condoning property destruction; this is just a heads up of sorts.  

Why would people act like this? I don’t know.  One too many single malts is no excuse for acting so uncouth.  

Ladies I implore you, do your fellow revelers a favor, and if the descriptions above are applicable to your date take action.  

No one likes to clean up the mess that a guest who is not party trained can leave behind…

Garter Belt Gal

(Photo courtesy of the LIFE Photo Archive, linked above)


Garter Belt Gal: A Note on Rejection- Let’s Talk about Texts Baby At some point in everyone’s lives, they will be rejected by the opposite sex.  There are many things ladies can say to gently let an incompatible suitor down: I’m too busy with my DAR meetings, we summer in different places, we went to rival Ivy League Universities, etc.  Gentlemen, it is your responsibility to respond to a polite rejection in a polite way.  You may think it unfair that you are responsible to act in a dignified manner, but that’s what separates the gentlemen from the boys. I recently found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to indicate to someone that perhaps the timing was not right for us to become involved, let us call him Mr. K.  His response to what I thought was a perfectly sweet let down? At first he didn’t understand, so there were a few more requests for dates (witty I may be, direct not so much).  Understanding finally sunk in, and instead of bowing out gracefully, I received a series of uncomfortable communications via text message. I was shocked when he not only indicated that he had been following my happenings on certain social networking sites, but that he thought it appropriate to use what he saw as ammunition to disprove my earlier statements of too many engagements to see him again.  I am sorry, Mr. K, if not all of the exclusive events I attend have a wall and comments section.  He may have tried to use the investigative and argumentative techniques of a barrister, but he certainly did not win his case. Rejection shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be, but subsequent rudeness and hostility are cause for shame.  Mr. K and I may not have been a proper fit, but if he had acted respectably I may have introduced him to one of my lovely acquaintances.  I admit tone is hard to convey through electronic means, so err on the side of caution and think twice before you text. That is if you are textually active. Garter Belt Gal

Garter Belt Gal: A Note on Rejection- Let’s Talk about Texts Baby

At some point in everyone’s lives, they will be rejected by the opposite sex.  There are many things ladies can say to gently let an incompatible suitor down: I’m too busy with my DAR meetings, we summer in different places, we went to rival Ivy League Universities, etc.  Gentlemen, it is your responsibility to respond to a polite rejection in a polite way.  You may think it unfair that you are responsible to act in a dignified manner, but that’s what separates the gentlemen from the boys.

I recently found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to indicate to someone that perhaps the timing was not right for us to become involved, let us call him Mr. K.  His response to what I thought was a perfectly sweet let down?

At first he didn’t understand, so there were a few more requests for dates (witty I may be, direct not so much).  Understanding finally sunk in, and instead of bowing out gracefully, I received a series of uncomfortable communications via text message.

I was shocked when he not only indicated that he had been following my happenings on certain social networking sites, but that he thought it appropriate to use what he saw as ammunition to disprove my earlier statements of too many engagements to see him again.  I am sorry, Mr. K, if not all of the exclusive events I attend have a wall and comments section.  He may have tried to use the investigative and argumentative techniques of a barrister, but he certainly did not win his case.

Rejection shouldn’t be a source of embarrassment, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be, but subsequent rudeness and hostility are cause for shame.  Mr. K and I may not have been a proper fit, but if he had acted respectably I may have introduced him to one of my lovely acquaintances.  I admit tone is hard to convey through electronic means, so err on the side of caution and think twice before you text.

That is if you are textually active.

Garter Belt Gal


Garter Belt Gal: If you’re be-suited, I’m besotted Nothing makes this gal’s pulse quicken like seeing a gentleman wearing a sublimely tailored suit. Yet, from Wall Street to Portobello Road ill-fitting suits are an epidemic of swine flue proportions.  Boxy jackets and baggy trousers won’t get you a job at Lehman Brothers Bear Stearns , er… anyplace good.  No slightly broken, government-owned bank will take you in a clownish potato sack. The lines of a suit, like the lines of your sports car, should be trim, clean and athletic. A well-tailored suit will accentuate, not exaggerate, your shoulders and minimize your waist.  That being said, if you fear that the buttons on your blazer are experiencing a higher level of stress than a steel girder in a skyscraper, it’s time to go up a size. If you do not have a tailor on staff, find a local tailor with a credible reputation to fit off-the-rack purchases. Given the economic crisis, or as a gentleman would say “the recent unpleasantness”, this may sound excessive, but it is more important to have one well-fitting suit than several boxy nightmares. Remember, a proper fitting suit that accentuates an athletic frame will also help you secure the trophy-wife you’ve always desired.  Wouldn’t you gentlemen rather have a lady exclaim, “Aha! He looks like an avid squash player!” instead of “He looks well-read”? Now, I must retire to my chaise lounge with a dampened handkerchief, talk of tailoring always makes me flushed. Garter Belt Gal

Garter Belt Gal: If you’re be-suited, I’m besotted

Nothing makes this gal’s pulse quicken like seeing a gentleman wearing a sublimely tailored suit.

Yet, from Wall Street to Portobello Road ill-fitting suits are an epidemic of swine flue proportions.  Boxy jackets and baggy trousers won’t get you a job at Lehman Brothers Bear Stearns , er… anyplace good.  No slightly broken, government-owned bank will take you in a clownish potato sack.

The lines of a suit, like the lines of your sports car, should be trim, clean and athletic. A well-tailored suit will accentuate, not exaggerate, your shoulders and minimize your waist.  That being said, if you fear that the buttons on your blazer are experiencing a higher level of stress than a steel girder in a skyscraper, it’s time to go up a size.

If you do not have a tailor on staff, find a local tailor with a credible reputation to fit off-the-rack purchases. Given the economic crisis, or as a gentleman would say “the recent unpleasantness”, this may sound excessive, but it is more important to have one well-fitting suit than several boxy nightmares.

Remember, a proper fitting suit that accentuates an athletic frame will also help you secure the trophy-wife you’ve always desired.  Wouldn’t you gentlemen rather have a lady exclaim, “Aha! He looks like an avid squash player!” instead of “He looks well-read”?

Now, I must retire to my chaise lounge with a dampened handkerchief, talk of tailoring always makes me flushed.

Garter Belt Gal


She’s a Lady: The Garter Belt Gal This will come as a surprise to no one, but The Bootstrap Gentleman has the ladies swooning.  One such ingenue, known only as the Garter Belt Gal, has kindly requested to contribute her thoughts on the modern gentleman to this humble tome.  Never one to turn down a damsel’s deepest desires, Bootstrap has readily acquiesced. The Garter Belt Gal, although a thoroughly modern woman, has, I am assured, ascribed herself to the gentility of yesteryear.  Although somewhat of a mystery I have been able to glean that the GBG ran away from finishing school and ensconced herself in the family suite at the Sherry-Netherland.  From her art deco perch she is well-positioned to comment on the degradation of society below. When coming down to street level for the occasional DAR luncheon or Broadway revue, she longs for the days when Mrs. Astor’s 400 reigned over the social scene.  Once her feminine sensibilities have been thoroughly offended she retreats to her luxury boudoir. It is from this satin-lined refuge that she will be commenting on the horrors she has experienced and the bright spots that give her hope.  Be on the lookout for much to come from the Garter Belt Gal. Hubba hubba (blue blood gets me hot under the collar).

She’s a Lady: The Garter Belt Gal

This will come as a surprise to no one, but The Bootstrap Gentleman has the ladies swooning.  One such ingenue, known only as the Garter Belt Gal, has kindly requested to contribute her thoughts on the modern gentleman to this humble tome.  Never one to turn down a damsel’s deepest desires, Bootstrap has readily acquiesced.

The Garter Belt Gal, although a thoroughly modern woman, has, I am assured, ascribed herself to the gentility of yesteryear.  Although somewhat of a mystery I have been able to glean that the GBG ran away from finishing school and ensconced herself in the family suite at the Sherry-Netherland.  From her art deco perch she is well-positioned to comment on the degradation of society below.

When coming down to street level for the occasional DAR luncheon or Broadway revue, she longs for the days when Mrs. Astor’s 400 reigned over the social scene.  Once her feminine sensibilities have been thoroughly offended she retreats to her luxury boudoir.

It is from this satin-lined refuge that she will be commenting on the horrors she has experienced and the bright spots that give her hope.  Be on the lookout for much to come from the Garter Belt Gal.

Hubba hubba (blue blood gets me hot under the collar).


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Themed by: Hunson