Good Breeding: A Gentleman is Timely You often hear people say to invest in land because they aren’t making any more of it, but you know what else they aren’t making any more of? My time. Just like a fertile field a gentleman cultivates his time with productive and cultural activities. With so many French novels to read, fine wines to drink and MTV reality shows to catch up on, it’s no wonder why waiting for the perpetually late can be irksome. There are some circumstances where being somewhat unpunctual is acceptable. Being fashionably late to a cocktail party never goes out of style, and delaying your minions while you are “executive late” to a meeting is also de rigueur.  In such examples the gentleman is actually on time by social standards, if not by the clock. Yet, being late for a date, a scheduled appointment or your parole hearing is unacceptable.  If you want others to treat your time as important the courtesy should be mutual. The only time a gentleman should be described as truly late is when he’s dead. Tick Tock Bootstrap

Good Breeding: A Gentleman is Timely

You often hear people say to invest in land because they aren’t making any more of it, but you know what else they aren’t making any more of? My time. Just like a fertile field a gentleman cultivates his time with productive and cultural activities.

With so many French novels to read, fine wines to drink and MTV reality shows to catch up on, it’s no wonder why waiting for the perpetually late can be irksome.

There are some circumstances where being somewhat unpunctual is acceptable. Being fashionably late to a cocktail party never goes out of style, and delaying your minions while you are “executive late” to a meeting is also de rigueur.  In such examples the gentleman is actually on time by social standards, if not by the clock.

Yet, being late for a date, a scheduled appointment or your parole hearing is unacceptable.  If you want others to treat your time as important the courtesy should be mutual.

The only time a gentleman should be described as truly late is when he’s dead.

Tick Tock

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: A Steady Hand A man’s handwriting says a lot about him, literally. Experts contend that how you put pen to paper can express fear, confidence, frustration, sociopathy etc. I have never put much store by graphology; mainly because I don’t want to know the local dry cleaner has the potential to murder me in cold blood when looking at my claim check. What I am talking about is the look of a man’s handwriting. We have all seen a note that looks more like an EKG than the alphabet.  Ask yourself, “do I want my sentimental jots to conjure up sweet nothings or indicate hypertension?”   If a man’s hand is sloppy the same can usually be said of the person. When letter writing was the preeminent method of communication, men took pride in their script. Writing was a skill of the privileged few, and it was taken seriously. Unfortunately it is rare to see refined penmanship in our typewritten world.     Perhaps this is an indication of a more casual society that doesn’t require love letters or frequent notes of regret to the hostesses of black tie balls.  Yet, you never know when you may need to make an important pronouncement in written form, so it’s time to start minding your p’s and q’s. Remember though, now as in eons gone by, a written letter is still a very personal gesture, so unless you know the recipient well, keep your hand to yourself. Bootstrap p.s.- I pen all of my posts into a leather bound ledger for posterity.

Good Breeding: A Steady Hand

A man’s handwriting says a lot about him, literally. Experts contend that how you put pen to paper can express fear, confidence, frustration, sociopathy etc. I have never put much store by graphology; mainly because I don’t want to know the local dry cleaner has the potential to murder me in cold blood when looking at my claim check.

What I am talking about is the look of a man’s handwriting. We have all seen a note that looks more like an EKG than the alphabet.  Ask yourself, “do I want my sentimental jots to conjure up sweet nothings or indicate hypertension?”  

If a man’s hand is sloppy the same can usually be said of the person. When letter writing was the preeminent method of communication, men took pride in their script. Writing was a skill of the privileged few, and it was taken seriously. Unfortunately it is rare to see refined penmanship in our typewritten world.    

Perhaps this is an indication of a more casual society that doesn’t require love letters or frequent notes of regret to the hostesses of black tie balls.  Yet, you never know when you may need to make an important pronouncement in written form, so it’s time to start minding your p’s and q’s.

Remember though, now as in eons gone by, a written letter is still a very personal gesture, so unless you know the recipient well, keep your hand to yourself.

Bootstrap

p.s.- I pen all of my posts into a leather bound ledger for posterity.


Good Breeding: A Gentleman Doesn’t Steal (Ideas) The title says it all.  A gentleman doesn’t steal, not even those tempting bathrobes at the Four Seasons.  The internet is rife with theft, and I am not just talking about people who get their kidneys stolen by using dating sites.  I am talking about idea theft. Unfortunately I recently discovered that one of the ideas from this site was imitated and re-used (not nearly as well if I do say so myself) on The Art of Manliness.  The picture is not of my own origin, and the words are not plagiarized, so nothing illegal has been done, but the results speak for themselves. Now we at Bootstrap have been avid fans of The Art of Manliness, so  the email below was sent to their attention.  I suggest you all take a look at the links in question.   “Hello, I read your blog often, and enjoy the content. I have been writing a blog called The Bootstrap Gentleman (www.thebootstrapgentleman.com) for about a year, and it seems as though we are touching on many of the same topics.  The blog is mostly a humorous take on being a gentleman in modern society with the occasional wardrobe tip or cocktail recipe thrown in for good measure.I recently ran across this article that you posted last month:http://artofmanliness.com/2011/01/25/stylish-travel-clothing/It reminded me of a few linked posts on my site that you can find here:http://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/436015544/travel-air-travel-like-a-gentleman-part-ihttp://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/265759336/packing-for-a-weekend-furloughBased on what I have read on your site I have a number of posts that I think you would enjoy.  I have the Art of Manliness linked on my site so my readers can find you, and it would be fantastic if you could re-post one of my articles in any of your various virtual venues or give the Bootstrap Gentleman a nod.” I had hoped this would be subtle yet firm, but unfortunately a response has not been received.  Apparently “reviving the lost art of manliness” includes being a coward. I would encourage my loyal readers to reblog this post or share it on Facebook.  Let’s give them a run for their money. Honestly, Bootstrap

Good Breeding: A Gentleman Doesn’t Steal (Ideas)

The title says it all.  A gentleman doesn’t steal, not even those tempting bathrobes at the Four Seasons.  The internet is rife with theft, and I am not just talking about people who get their kidneys stolen by using dating sites.  I am talking about idea theft.

Unfortunately I recently discovered that one of the ideas from this site was imitated and re-used (not nearly as well if I do say so myself) on The Art of Manliness.  The picture is not of my own origin, and the words are not plagiarized, so nothing illegal has been done, but the results speak for themselves.

Now we at Bootstrap have been avid fans of The Art of Manliness, so  the email below was sent to their attention.  I suggest you all take a look at the links in question.  

“Hello,

I read your blog often, and enjoy the content. I have been writing a blog called The Bootstrap Gentleman (www.thebootstrapgentleman.com) for about a year, and it seems as though we are touching on many of the same topics.  The blog is mostly a humorous take on being a gentleman in modern society with the occasional wardrobe tip or cocktail recipe thrown in for good measure.

I recently ran across this article that you posted last month:
http://artofmanliness.com/2011/01/25/stylish-travel-clothing/

It reminded me of a few linked posts on my site that you can find here:

http://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/436015544/travel-air-travel-li
ke-a-gentleman-part-i

http://www.thebootstrapgentleman.com/post/265759336/packing-for-a-weeken
d-furlough

Based on what I have read on your site I have a number of posts that I think you would enjoy.  I have the Art of Manliness linked on my site so my readers can find you, and it would be fantastic if you could re-post one of my articles in any of your various virtual venues or give the Bootstrap Gentleman a nod.”

I had hoped this would be subtle yet firm, but unfortunately a response has not been received.  Apparently “reviving the lost art of manliness” includes being a coward.

I would encourage my loyal readers to reblog this post or share it on Facebook.  Let’s give them a run for their money.

Honestly,

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: Loose Lips Sink Ships Working in an office has its benefits.  You are surrounded by people who are, for the most part, paid to not look like slobs, there is an endless supply of free stationary and bar-topped credenzas are the ultimate symbol of success.  Yet, there are dangers in this polished paradise. Despite those unassuming smiles, work is guerilla warfare, and those tasseled loafers have steel toes.  The general working populace is not happy.  They complain.  They plot.  They form factions and engage in social maneuvering of military proportion.  And what is the ammunition of this rogue installment? Gossip. That’s right, licentious tales of mailroom trysts and the occasional breakfast martini can ruin careers faster than a polyester suit.  Yet, it is not just the subjects of these stories that are at risk, it is those repeating them.  You may feel authoritative giving a play by play young Arthur and Mildred’s happy hour antics, but do you really want stories about your Cambridge drinking society days making the rounds?  I think not. If you have nothing nice to say I certainly want you sitting next to me at the next board luncheon, but there is no way I am turning over the keys to the executive washroom. Remember, knowledge is power, but unless your blue blazer is bulletproof I suggest you use it for good, not gossip. Confidentially, Bootstrap

Good Breeding: Loose Lips Sink Ships

Working in an office has its benefits.  You are surrounded by people who are, for the most part, paid to not look like slobs, there is an endless supply of free stationary and bar-topped credenzas are the ultimate symbol of success.  Yet, there are dangers in this polished paradise.

Despite those unassuming smiles, work is guerilla warfare, and those tasseled loafers have steel toes.  The general working populace is not happy.  They complain.  They plot.  They form factions and engage in social maneuvering of military proportion.  And what is the ammunition of this rogue installment? Gossip.

That’s right, licentious tales of mailroom trysts and the occasional breakfast martini can ruin careers faster than a polyester suit.  Yet, it is not just the subjects of these stories that are at risk, it is those repeating them.  You may feel authoritative giving a play by play young Arthur and Mildred’s happy hour antics, but do you really want stories about your Cambridge drinking society days making the rounds?  I think not.

If you have nothing nice to say I certainly want you sitting next to me at the next board luncheon, but there is no way I am turning over the keys to the executive washroom. Remember, knowledge is power, but unless your blue blazer is bulletproof I suggest you use it for good, not gossip.

Confidentially,

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: Winter Manners In keeping with the seasonal tone of recent posts, Bootstrap would like to remind readers that just because you are swaddled beyond recognition to avoid the subzero temperatures doesn’t mean your manners should also go incognito. A gentleman, for instance, should always remove his glove to shake hands. Understandably, for the more germophobic among us, wearing gloves may seem like a free pass, but keeping your gloves on can be considered a snub. If you are meeting a friend or colleague outside, you can follow their lead, but if you are inside, lose the glove. (Yet, be careful that your glove removal is friendly in nature, and does not seem to foretell an impending duel.  Reliable sources say that more than one private club has seen bloodshed in this manner.) Ladies, too, require extra attention in the winter months.  Always help with your female companion’s coat, checking or hanging it if necessary.  In locales where automobile travel is necessary being escorted to a pre-heated car is the ultimate luxury. Also, do not be shy about extending your arm on any icy sidewalk or staircase. Regardless of whether you know the lady or not, she will doubtless appreciate the offer.   Remember, while good winter manners will make others warm to you, without them your reception will be frosty, and more than one person may end up on their ass. Bundle up Bootstrap

Good Breeding: Winter Manners

In keeping with the seasonal tone of recent posts, Bootstrap would like to remind readers that just because you are swaddled beyond recognition to avoid the subzero temperatures doesn’t mean your manners should also go incognito.

A gentleman, for instance, should always remove his glove to shake hands. Understandably, for the more germophobic among us, wearing gloves may seem like a free pass, but keeping your gloves on can be considered a snub. If you are meeting a friend or colleague outside, you can follow their lead, but if you are inside, lose the glove. (Yet, be careful that your glove removal is friendly in nature, and does not seem to foretell an impending duel.  Reliable sources say that more than one private club has seen bloodshed in this manner.)

Ladies, too, require extra attention in the winter months.  Always help with your female companion’s coat, checking or hanging it if necessary.  In locales where automobile travel is necessary being escorted to a pre-heated car is the ultimate luxury. Also, do not be shy about extending your arm on any icy sidewalk or staircase. Regardless of whether you know the lady or not, she will doubtless appreciate the offer.  

Remember, while good winter manners will make others warm to you, without them your reception will be frosty, and more than one person may end up on their ass.

Bundle up

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: Being Bossy, in a Good Way People are often surprised when they ring me at work to hear a melodious voice answer “[Bootstrap’s] office, may I help you?”  My place of employment is a veritable time warp with individual offices, cherry credenzas, a strict dress code and encouraged use of the broad A (I love it).  As a result all of the up and coming executives, like myself, have a dedicated administrative assistant (secretary for those born before the advent of HR). Before anyone get’s all up in my tweed with negative comments, I will make the note that not all assistants are female, and there are many capable males that also have that title.  If you have a male assistant this post does not apply to you, and you can stop reading to wallow in your own bad luck. Having a female subordinate in the workplace can pose issues for a gentleman.  He has to strike a balance between out of office manners and the practicalities of work. A gentleman should think of his assistant like his mother-in-law.  He must keep her close, but not too close, and remember that she has the ability to make his life miserable if she wants to.  She is the one that saves you by adding punctuation to your dictation and is the Cerberus that guards your phone line.   An assistant should be treated with deference, but not as you would treat a woman in a social situation.  You needn’t pay for her lunch or rise when she enters your office.  In the presence of strangers she should be addressed as Miss or Mrs., not by her first name, which may be Candy or Trixie. And when it comes to those inappropriate urges think, would you ask your mother-in-law to get that file in the bottom drawer?  I think not. Authoritatively Bootstrap

Good Breeding: Being Bossy, in a Good Way

People are often surprised when they ring me at work to hear a melodious voice answer “[Bootstrap’s] office, may I help you?”  My place of employment is a veritable time warp with individual offices, cherry credenzas, a strict dress code and encouraged use of the broad A (I love it).  As a result all of the up and coming executives, like myself, have a dedicated administrative assistant (secretary for those born before the advent of HR).

Before anyone get’s all up in my tweed with negative comments, I will make the note that not all assistants are female, and there are many capable males that also have that title.  If you have a male assistant this post does not apply to you, and you can stop reading to wallow in your own bad luck.

Having a female subordinate in the workplace can pose issues for a gentleman.  He has to strike a balance between out of office manners and the practicalities of work.

A gentleman should think of his assistant like his mother-in-law.  He must keep her close, but not too close, and remember that she has the ability to make his life miserable if she wants to.  She is the one that saves you by adding punctuation to your dictation and is the Cerberus that guards your phone line.  

An assistant should be treated with deference, but not as you would treat a woman in a social situation.  You needn’t pay for her lunch or rise when she enters your office.  In the presence of strangers she should be addressed as Miss or Mrs., not by her first name, which may be Candy or Trixie.

And when it comes to those inappropriate urges think, would you ask your mother-in-law to get that file in the bottom drawer?  I think not.

Authoritatively

Bootstrap


Travel: Air Travel like a Gentleman Part I- Beginning your journey By now I have written about traveling a few times, but it seems that our humble site has been receiving a number of visitors looking for the gentlemanly rules of the sky.  If you are one of the lucky few who doesn’t have to face the horrors of a commercial airport, direct yourself to Private Jetiquette.  If you are traveling steerage, read on. Although you may wax lyrical about old movies where an out of breath traveller runs to the gate, suitcase in hand, to catch a last minute flight, those days are gone forever. The first step in being a gentlemanly passenger is to arrive at the airport prepared for a 1984-style march through endless lines, metal detectors and rings of fire.  Once you have resigned yourself to that fact you are ready to enter the airport unflappable. The first challenge to your impeccable decorum will be check-in.  Although web check-in is widely available, it is often informative to do it at the airport if you have time.  You will get better information about your flight and may avail yourself of some perks. Let’s face it, being a ticket agent is a terrible job.  More often than not you have some mother with 18 bags and 10 children screaming at you about a cancelled flight to Des Moines, and that’s enough to turn anyone into a compassionless robot. Understand this and use it to your advantage.  A gentleman’s charm will get him everywhere, and when it comes to dealing with a ticket agent remember the Three S Rule: Smile, Sympathize and Sucker them in. After a day of dealing with agitated barbarians showing a little humanity goes a long way. I once let an over-stressed airline employee leave her post to go to the bathroom, all the while pretending, so as not to arouse suspicion, to be severely agitated.  Needless to say I spent the rest of my journey in first class.  Just watch and learn. Next stop, the security line… Bootstrap

Travel: Air Travel like a Gentleman Part I- Beginning your journey

By now I have written about traveling a few times, but it seems that our humble site has been receiving a number of visitors looking for the gentlemanly rules of the sky.  If you are one of the lucky few who doesn’t have to face the horrors of a commercial airport, direct yourself to Private Jetiquette.  If you are traveling steerage, read on.

Although you may wax lyrical about old movies where an out of breath traveller runs to the gate, suitcase in hand, to catch a last minute flight, those days are gone forever. The first step in being a gentlemanly passenger is to arrive at the airport prepared for a 1984-style march through endless lines, metal detectors and rings of fire.  Once you have resigned yourself to that fact you are ready to enter the airport unflappable.

The first challenge to your impeccable decorum will be check-in.  Although web check-in is widely available, it is often informative to do it at the airport if you have time.  You will get better information about your flight and may avail yourself of some perks.

Let’s face it, being a ticket agent is a terrible job.  More often than not you have some mother with 18 bags and 10 children screaming at you about a cancelled flight to Des Moines, and that’s enough to turn anyone into a compassionless robot. Understand this and use it to your advantage.  A gentleman’s charm will get him everywhere, and when it comes to dealing with a ticket agent remember the Three S Rule: Smile, Sympathize and Sucker them in. After a day of dealing with agitated barbarians showing a little humanity goes a long way.

I once let an over-stressed airline employee leave her post to go to the bathroom, all the while pretending, so as not to arouse suspicion, to be severely agitated.  Needless to say I spent the rest of my journey in first class.  Just watch and learn.

Next stop, the security line…

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: The Sidewalk is not your Spittoon Whenever you feel yourself getting wet in a city you pray that it is raining.  If those few moist driblets are not from an opening of the skies the truth usually isn’t pretty. Today when a handful of droplets landed on my well-polished brogues I realized, with severe consternation, that they did not foretell a spring shower.  I, my friends, was a victim of a spit and run. Spitting, especially in public, is a habit so nefarious that a gentleman will not even do it in the presence of his dentist.  Unfortunately spitting in trashcans and gutters, and on streets and sidewalks is as commonplace in American cities as it was at the OK Corral. Please tell me, how badly do you really need to rid yourself of your slobber that you must project it in front of, and sometimes onto, innocent bystanders.  The answer is, you don’t. Unless you are sucking the poison out of a dying snake bite victim, keep your filthy sputum to yourself. I haven’t been so violated by saliva since watching Michael Jackson lock lips with Lisa Marie Presley. Bootstrap

Good Breeding: The Sidewalk is not your Spittoon

Whenever you feel yourself getting wet in a city you pray that it is raining.  If those few moist driblets are not from an opening of the skies the truth usually isn’t pretty.

Today when a handful of droplets landed on my well-polished brogues I realized, with severe consternation, that they did not foretell a spring shower.  I, my friends, was a victim of a spit and run.

Spitting, especially in public, is a habit so nefarious that a gentleman will not even do it in the presence of his dentist.  Unfortunately spitting in trashcans and gutters, and on streets and sidewalks is as commonplace in American cities as it was at the OK Corral.

Please tell me, how badly do you really need to rid yourself of your slobber that you must project it in front of, and sometimes onto, innocent bystanders.  The answer is, you don’t.

Unless you are sucking the poison out of a dying snake bite victim, keep your filthy sputum to yourself.

I haven’t been so violated by saliva since watching Michael Jackson lock lips with Lisa Marie Presley.

Bootstrap



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