Travel: Friends with Benefits It’s Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing- a country weekend.  Three days isn’t enough to make it to your yacht moored in the south of France, but it is time enough to tolerate those friends in your social circle that have access to more than an acre of land and a fully stocked bar.  These are the low dose people you can only take with fresh air and a significant supply of gin.  The Bootstrap Gentleman himself doesn’t have access to beach houses in Kiawah, but if he plays his cards right that doesn’t matter.   Sometimes one just needs to break free of the shackles of urban elitism, dust off the white bucks and take a midnight train to Georgia…er, to the tony suburbs of Manhattan. It is best to have a plan, or at least an awareness, of how things are going to go down on the farm.  First day: you really will tell yourself that you like this host.  First night: get drunk and talk about how much you hate city living. Second Day: spend time in the sun, feign a hangover and keep earbuds in.  Second night: get drunk and flirt with the house staff. Third day: embrace your host and hostess, thank them for a lovely weekend and get the hell out with what’s left of your dignity… and an aweseome tan. Green Acres is the place for us (on holiday weekends only).    Bootstrap and Garter Belt Gal (Coming to you live from the middle of nowhere)

Travel: Friends with Benefits

It’s Memorial Day, and that can only mean one thing- a country weekend.  Three days isn’t enough to make it to your yacht moored in the south of France, but it is time enough to tolerate those friends in your social circle that have access to more than an acre of land and a fully stocked bar.  These are the low dose people you can only take with fresh air and a significant supply of gin. 

The Bootstrap Gentleman himself doesn’t have access to beach houses in Kiawah, but if he plays his cards right that doesn’t matter.   Sometimes one just needs to break free of the shackles of urban elitism, dust off the white bucks and take a midnight train to Georgia…er, to the tony suburbs of Manhattan.

It is best to have a plan, or at least an awareness, of how things are going to go down on the farm.  First day: you really will tell yourself that you like this host.  First night: get drunk and talk about how much you hate city living. Second Day: spend time in the sun, feign a hangover and keep earbuds in.  Second night: get drunk and flirt with the house staff. Third day: embrace your host and hostess, thank them for a lovely weekend and get the hell out with what’s left of your dignity… and an aweseome tan.

Green Acres is the place for us (on holiday weekends only).   

Bootstrap and Garter Belt Gal (Coming to you live from the middle of nowhere)


Travel: Air Travel Like a Gentleman Part II- Come listen to a story… I have already written several times about how to travel like a gentleman.  Dress well, keep you mouth shut and your baggage to a minimum.  A gentleman in the skies fades into the background, respectable and forgettable.  He does not order 10 complementary cocktails in first class and end up crying to the woman next to him about his post-recession portfolio. Conversely, a gentleman should be a beacon of calm in a sea of confusion.  He is steadfast, and comfortable traveling for 2 hours or 22.  A gentleman reads quietly unless he is called upon to assist a damsel with her oxygen mask or to reunite a lost toddler with his parents in the air mall.   That is the difference between a traveler and a tourist.  The Wall Street Journal recently ran a story about websites that plot tourist hotspots so the true connoisseurs of globetrotting can avoid them at all costs.  This seems a bit extreme, especially since a gentleman traveler with his blazer perfectly pressed never looks better than juxtaposed against some hayseed in an Orlando sweatshirt.  That being said, there are certain scenes that remind us that some people just cannot be let out of their cages.  The picture above makes me wonder if, anywhere in his two dozen bags, this man has shoes.  The gate is not your Barcalounger sir, and Laguardia is not your living room.   Since World Cup hysteria has swept the nation, I propose adding red and yellow cards to airports. This man deserves 20 minutes in the smokers lounge. Once he has done his time he can pick up his bags and head off to Bev-er-lee… Bootstrap ps: Note the Crocs.

Travel: Air Travel Like a Gentleman Part II- Come listen to a story…

I have already written several times about how to travel like a gentleman.  Dress well, keep you mouth shut and your baggage to a minimum.  A gentleman in the skies fades into the background, respectable and forgettable.  He does not order 10 complementary cocktails in first class and end up crying to the woman next to him about his post-recession portfolio.

Conversely, a gentleman should be a beacon of calm in a sea of confusion.  He is steadfast, and comfortable traveling for 2 hours or 22.  A gentleman reads quietly unless he is called upon to assist a damsel with her oxygen mask or to reunite a lost toddler with his parents in the air mall.  

That is the difference between a traveler and a tourist.  The Wall Street Journal recently ran a story about websites that plot tourist hotspots so the true connoisseurs of globetrotting can avoid them at all costs.  This seems a bit extreme, especially since a gentleman traveler with his blazer perfectly pressed never looks better than juxtaposed against some hayseed in an Orlando sweatshirt. 

That being said, there are certain scenes that remind us that some people just cannot be let out of their cages.  The picture above makes me wonder if, anywhere in his two dozen bags, this man has shoes.  The gate is not your Barcalounger sir, and Laguardia is not your living room.  

Since World Cup hysteria has swept the nation, I propose adding red and yellow cards to airports. This man deserves 20 minutes in the smokers lounge.

Once he has done his time he can pick up his bags and head off to Bev-er-lee…

Bootstrap

ps: Note the Crocs.


Travel: Passing on your left Despite what many people may believe, escalators are stairs.  Although most people choose to stand on the escalator to be luxuriously transported from one destination to the next, a behavior which cannot be faulted, others would like to use it as a faster method of getting from A to B.   For those of us who do not think of an escalator as a leisurely jaunt on a Venetian Gondola it is important that people know to follow the convention of standing to the right so others can walk to the left. Yet, yesterday, while rushing an epic distance across an airport to a distant gate that did not seem to exist I came face to back with this.  That’s right cultured travelers of the world, this man was blocking the escalator.   Perhaps he thought he would just enjoy the view for a few minutes as he held up hundreds of people.  Maybe he wanted to extend his vacation or relish his break from the Terminal A Chili’s where he works behind the bar (the only excuse for wearing that shirt in an airport).  Regardless of the reason, this man exhibited for everyone who would look the fact that he is no gentleman. It is possible that this dullard was British and adhering to the conventions of his own country by standing to the left, but being culturally ignorant is no excuse for ignoring timeworn travelers breathing down your neck. I thought for a moment about giving my briefcase a light toss to dislodge him, but I did not want to mar the crocodile leather on the treads below. He was lucky this time… Sailing on. Bootstrap

Travel: Passing on your left

Despite what many people may believe, escalators are stairs.  Although most people choose to stand on the escalator to be luxuriously transported from one destination to the next, a behavior which cannot be faulted, others would like to use it as a faster method of getting from A to B.  

For those of us who do not think of an escalator as a leisurely jaunt on a Venetian Gondola it is important that people know to follow the convention of standing to the right so others can walk to the left.

Yet, yesterday, while rushing an epic distance across an airport to a distant gate that did not seem to exist I came face to back with this.  That’s right cultured travelers of the world, this man was blocking the escalator.  

Perhaps he thought he would just enjoy the view for a few minutes as he held up hundreds of people.  Maybe he wanted to extend his vacation or relish his break from the Terminal A Chili’s where he works behind the bar (the only excuse for wearing that shirt in an airport).  Regardless of the reason, this man exhibited for everyone who would look the fact that he is no gentleman.

It is possible that this dullard was British and adhering to the conventions of his own country by standing to the left, but being culturally ignorant is no excuse for ignoring timeworn travelers breathing down your neck.

I thought for a moment about giving my briefcase a light toss to dislodge him, but I did not want to mar the crocodile leather on the treads below.

He was lucky this time…

Sailing on.

Bootstrap


Travel: Air Travel like a Gentleman Part I- Beginning your journey By now I have written about traveling a few times, but it seems that our humble site has been receiving a number of visitors looking for the gentlemanly rules of the sky.  If you are one of the lucky few who doesn’t have to face the horrors of a commercial airport, direct yourself to Private Jetiquette.  If you are traveling steerage, read on. Although you may wax lyrical about old movies where an out of breath traveller runs to the gate, suitcase in hand, to catch a last minute flight, those days are gone forever. The first step in being a gentlemanly passenger is to arrive at the airport prepared for a 1984-style march through endless lines, metal detectors and rings of fire.  Once you have resigned yourself to that fact you are ready to enter the airport unflappable. The first challenge to your impeccable decorum will be check-in.  Although web check-in is widely available, it is often informative to do it at the airport if you have time.  You will get better information about your flight and may avail yourself of some perks. Let’s face it, being a ticket agent is a terrible job.  More often than not you have some mother with 18 bags and 10 children screaming at you about a cancelled flight to Des Moines, and that’s enough to turn anyone into a compassionless robot. Understand this and use it to your advantage.  A gentleman’s charm will get him everywhere, and when it comes to dealing with a ticket agent remember the Three S Rule: Smile, Sympathize and Sucker them in. After a day of dealing with agitated barbarians showing a little humanity goes a long way. I once let an over-stressed airline employee leave her post to go to the bathroom, all the while pretending, so as not to arouse suspicion, to be severely agitated.  Needless to say I spent the rest of my journey in first class.  Just watch and learn. Next stop, the security line… Bootstrap

Travel: Air Travel like a Gentleman Part I- Beginning your journey

By now I have written about traveling a few times, but it seems that our humble site has been receiving a number of visitors looking for the gentlemanly rules of the sky.  If you are one of the lucky few who doesn’t have to face the horrors of a commercial airport, direct yourself to Private Jetiquette.  If you are traveling steerage, read on.

Although you may wax lyrical about old movies where an out of breath traveller runs to the gate, suitcase in hand, to catch a last minute flight, those days are gone forever. The first step in being a gentlemanly passenger is to arrive at the airport prepared for a 1984-style march through endless lines, metal detectors and rings of fire.  Once you have resigned yourself to that fact you are ready to enter the airport unflappable.

The first challenge to your impeccable decorum will be check-in.  Although web check-in is widely available, it is often informative to do it at the airport if you have time.  You will get better information about your flight and may avail yourself of some perks.

Let’s face it, being a ticket agent is a terrible job.  More often than not you have some mother with 18 bags and 10 children screaming at you about a cancelled flight to Des Moines, and that’s enough to turn anyone into a compassionless robot. Understand this and use it to your advantage.  A gentleman’s charm will get him everywhere, and when it comes to dealing with a ticket agent remember the Three S Rule: Smile, Sympathize and Sucker them in. After a day of dealing with agitated barbarians showing a little humanity goes a long way.

I once let an over-stressed airline employee leave her post to go to the bathroom, all the while pretending, so as not to arouse suspicion, to be severely agitated.  Needless to say I spent the rest of my journey in first class.  Just watch and learn.

Next stop, the security line…

Bootstrap


Travel: A Gentleman Takes the Train As I prepare myself for a train journey tomorrow that will no doubt consist of cramped seats and shrink-wrapped food it is difficult not to be nostalgic for the golden age of rail travel that I never got to experience.  Where once there were attentive porters and unlimited luggage room for the steamer trunks holding your winter wardrobe, there is now a serve yourself mentality and miniscule storage bins.  It is simply undignified that a gentleman, who no doubt has countless events and much business to attend to while traveling for an extended period, can only pack as much as he can carry. The last time I traveled by train there was a group of passengers using such foul language that children were moved to another car.  These men and women were not asked to curtail their behavior.  God forbid social decency infringe upon their good time. Unfortunately, like air travel, train travel is no longer an event.  It is a common occurrence, and people treat it as such.  The modern traveler gets stuck on a slow, aging locomotive with the drunken louts described above while Cary Grant enjoys a sleek private compartment with Eva Marie Saint.  (So that may have only happened in North by Northwest, but that doesn’t mean I’m not bitter.) If you would like to recreate rail travel as it was meant to be I suggest booking an entire carriage, bringing your own cocktail shaker and asking the conductors to address you as “sir”.  If that is out of your realm just bring a book, mind your manners and disinfect when you reach your destination. Is a private car, real china and a good old-fashioned murder really so much to ask for? I think not. Bootstrap

Travel: A Gentleman Takes the Train

As I prepare myself for a train journey tomorrow that will no doubt consist of cramped seats and shrink-wrapped food it is difficult not to be nostalgic for the golden age of rail travel that I never got to experience.  Where once there were attentive porters and unlimited luggage room for the steamer trunks holding your winter wardrobe, there is now a serve yourself mentality and miniscule storage bins.  It is simply undignified that a gentleman, who no doubt has countless events and much business to attend to while traveling for an extended period, can only pack as much as he can carry.

The last time I traveled by train there was a group of passengers using such foul language that children were moved to another car.  These men and women were not asked to curtail their behavior.  God forbid social decency infringe upon their good time.

Unfortunately, like air travel, train travel is no longer an event.  It is a common occurrence, and people treat it as such.  The modern traveler gets stuck on a slow, aging locomotive with the drunken louts described above while Cary Grant enjoys a sleek private compartment with Eva Marie Saint.  (So that may have only happened in North by Northwest, but that doesn’t mean I’m not bitter.)

If you would like to recreate rail travel as it was meant to be I suggest booking an entire carriage, bringing your own cocktail shaker and asking the conductors to address you as “sir”.  If that is out of your realm just bring a book, mind your manners and disinfect when you reach your destination.

Is a private car, real china and a good old-fashioned murder really so much to ask for? I think not.

Bootstrap


Good Breeding: Private Jetiquette Anything can be described as “luxury” these days- tube socks, dog food, Japanese cars, but there is one thing that has not found its way redesigned and reprocessed down an aisle at Target for mass consumption- private air travel. Sure it’s expensive, but what price is too much to guarantee that harbingers of H1N1 aren’t next to you in coach for 20 hours?  Some say it ruins the environment, but until China stops burning it’s garbage I am going to be eating roast duck dumplings while sprawled over 3 seats. A few rules for private air travel: 1) Be on time- causing a hold up on the runway is very poor form. 2) Travel light- easy on, easy off 3) Don’t bring anyone you shouldn’t- the Wall Street Journal is always watching 4) There are no other rules- thats right, bring tweezers, bring bottled water, what the hell, you can even bring a bottle of shampoo that is more than 3 ounces.  You paid for those friendly skies and don’t forget it… Happy trails Bootstrap

Good Breeding: Private Jetiquette

Anything can be described as “luxury” these days- tube socks, dog food, Japanese cars, but there is one thing that has not found its way redesigned and reprocessed down an aisle at Target for mass consumption- private air travel.

Sure it’s expensive, but what price is too much to guarantee that harbingers of H1N1 aren’t next to you in coach for 20 hours?  Some say it ruins the environment, but until China stops burning it’s garbage I am going to be eating roast duck dumplings while sprawled over 3 seats.

A few rules for private air travel:

1) Be on time- causing a hold up on the runway is very poor form.

2) Travel light- easy on, easy off

3) Don’t bring anyone you shouldn’t- the Wall Street Journal is always watching

4) There are no other rules- thats right, bring tweezers, bring bottled water, what the hell, you can even bring a bottle of shampoo that is more than 3 ounces.  You paid for those friendly skies and don’t forget it…

Happy trails

Bootstrap


Packing for a weekend furlough

Packing for a weekend away is no simple task, especially when your work schedule dictates that you do it four days in advance (unfortunately being a gentleman doesn’t pay the bills but selling your soul to an exciting career in finance does).

This can also be a tricky, especially if you are mixing business and pleasure.  The bootstrap gentleman, despite his modest upbringing, should be prepared for all manner of social interaction.  It is important to remember that being best dressed isn’t about being the most original but being the individual who blends well with the crowd.  You never know when the venue will switch from the hotel ballroom to the basement barroom so a top hat shouldn’t be the first thing on your list.

Remember when you are on a plane, train, bus, monorail, gondola-other people can see you, you shouldn’t be wearing sweatpants, shorts or sandals of any kind.  When in doubt, exposed portions of your body are offensive to others.  Traveling long distances, like most trips out of the house, used to be an event to look respectable for.  This has not changed.  Anyone caught dressed in hoodies or mesh shorts during transit should be forced to ride in the baggage compartment, they look like duffel bags anyway.

We digress.

Everything in your weekend bag should serve multiple purposes and go together (not match- think George Costanza’s father in a cabana set).

Bootstrap suggests:

-Oxford shirts- one white, one of a light color or pattern

-Jeans- no holes or frayed edges, you need to be able to wear these anywhere

-A blue blazer-it’s a classic that goes with everything.  Wear it while you are traveling to hold your tickets, phone, wallet, keys, emergency life preserver etc.

-Chinos- a tailored pair that you can wear for casual or dress in khaki or grey

-Loafers- loafers are both formal and casual and they slip off easily for that nice TSA employee who will throw you in the mandatory pat-down holding pen for taking two minutes to unlace your ankle boots

-Sweater- solid color, v-neck or crew neck, no reindeer

These seven items fit easily into a weekender with some worn for traveling, and when mixed can create the proper attire for almost any occasion.  If you want something more formal throw a simple tie and a pocket square in your bag and you are good to go.

And remember, if you are a real gentleman you should also think about how those clothes will look after a night on the floor and a walk home in the harsh light of day…happy travels.


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Themed by: Hunson